What you can learn from your path, Dorothy, and Moves like Jagger
It’s that time of year again: time to stuff ourselves silly with holiday treats, drain our bank accounts dry in pursuit of perfect presents, and carry a healthy sense of self loathing for indulging in such gluttony. But in the midst of such superficial satisfactions, we remember to give thanks for what really fills us up and makes us whole. I know that I am thankful for so many things this year. Mostly, I am thankful for how my life’s plans got totally and completely off track.
Yes, you read that right; I am happy to have my previous life’s plan now in pieces. Last year, and the many before it, I had a grand plan of what my life would be, who I would share that life with in terms of friends and companionship, and how it would all take place. As the pieces of the puzzle that had been much of my twenties began to fall into place, I felt like my life’s purpose was finally coming together and that my sense of self had never been more clear: I was going to focus on my career, find who I really was, and then start a family… maybe.
But when all my once firm notions became flimsy fallacies and my plan fell apart, well, so did I. Nothing was as it seemed anymore. Everything was backwards. I suddenly found myself pregnant, de-friended in some circles, and twice unemployed. Everything I had worked for or believed in over the last decade seemed to crumble in seconds. But that’s when something marvelous happened: my life’s true plan began to take shape. As I began to embrace the unexpected, I realized I was finally living my life instead of building plans around it. I also realized maybe my plans kept me more off of my path than on it; instead of living for today, I was always looking ahead of what would be tomorrow. My twenties were full of these tomorrows. That way, I could stay safe in the promise of who I would be instead of facing the task of testing who I could be.
We do that a lot: try to figure out who we should be and what we will become without really allowing ourselves to just be who we are. There’s a reason why so many of us fell in love with Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Many of us have walked that similar road, minus the dazzling ruby red slippers. Dorothy was looking over the rainbow to find where she belonged only to realize she wanted to go home and that she was there the whole time.
So while my yellow brick road was lined more with pregnancy woes then poppies, I suffered from the same sleepy self-doubt and delirium as Dorothy. It wasn’t until I stopped looking ahead and started looking around that I found I was right where I was supposed to be. I didn’t have to click my heels three times to figure that out; all I had to do was look into the angelic face of my newborn daughter. What my life needed had been there all along, waiting to bring me out of my tomorrows and into today. My daughter’s arrival made me realize I was already home.
So while you take stock of what to be thankful for this year, think about all the little things that brought you to that place of gratitude. And remember, good fortune doesn’t always start out as such. Sometimes what feels like the deepest of burdens, like a lost sense of self, can bring you to the greatest of blessings, like who you were meant to be. Dorothy may have walked the walk, but I think MicK Jagger really said it best. “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you’ll find you get what you need.”
So go on: Eat, drink, and be merry, and of course, be thankful. Be thankful for calamity and chaos that is life. Be thankful for change and challenge that is faith. Be thankful for the unforeseen and unexpected that is destiny. Because the best-laid plans can and do go array, but the end result is often just as it should be.
Julia, I was meant to be your mom, and for that, I am truly thankful.
Photo by Brooke Allison Photograp
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
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